A heart-to-heart about intrusive thoughts after baby
Hey, mama.
Can we talk about something that doesn’t get talked about enough?
It’s those scary, unwanted thoughts that pop into your head after having a baby. The ones that make your stomach drop, your heart race, and make you wonder, What is wrong with me?
First, let me say this: you are not crazy. You are not dangerous. You are not a bad mom.
Let’s talk about intrusive thoughts—what they are, why they happen, and why you’re not alone.
“I had this horrible thought… and it just appeared.”
You’re rocking your baby to sleep, and out of nowhere, you imagine dropping them. Or someone breaking in. Or something happening in their crib.
It’s vivid. Upsetting. And totally unwanted. You would never act on it, and it horrifies you that it even showed up.
That’s an intrusive thought. And guess what? They’re way more common than you’d think.
Why is this happening?
Your brain just went through something massive—physically, emotionally, hormonally. Add in sleep deprivation, a total life upheaval, and the weight of keeping a tiny human alive… your system is on high alert.
So sometimes, your mind tries to “prepare” you by throwing out worst-case scenarios. It’s kind of like a smoke detector that’s way too sensitive—it’s trying to protect, but ends up scaring you instead.
You’re not alone
Here’s the thing no one told us in the baby books: most new moms experience intrusive thoughts.
Like, up to 70–90% of us.
We just don’t talk about it. Because we’re ashamed. Or are afraid someone will take our baby away.
But you’re not broken. Your brain is just overwhelmed and trying (badly) to cope.
What helps?
Here’s what I wish someone had told me early on:
- You don’t have to fight the thought. Let it pass. It’s not a sign—it’s a glitch.
- Talk about it—with a therapist, a partner, or a friend who won’t judge.
- Know this: The more upset you are by the thought, the more it shows you’re a caring mom. These thoughts are not who you are.
And if they keep coming, or they start to affect how you bond or function, please reach out. There are therapists (like me!) who get it—who specialize in this and can help you breathe again.
You’re still a good mom
Let me say it one more time for the part of you that’s scared:
Intrusive thoughts don’t mean anything about who you are.
They’re not dangerous.
They’re not a sign of psychosis.
They’re your brain, running scared and tired.
You’re doing your best. And that’s enough.
You’re not alone. I promise.
If this sounds like something you’re going through, let’s talk.
We offer therapy for new moms who feel overwhelmed, anxious, or just not like themselves, online and in-person here in Chicago
Click here to reach out | I’m here when you’re ready.